EMO.....

.............................................I want a vacation!!!!..............................................

Was chatting with my boy while having our dinner that day and we went into the topic of our next vacation. He told me that he want to go oversea so badly and actually i have the same feeling too and might be even worst than he do. And we had agreed to set Hong Kong as our destination in the coming vacation. The simple conversation raised my urges to the max. and it makes me keep on thinking on it these few days. Eventually, i google a lot of things about Hong Kong. The foods, the places, the air tickets, the hotels even search on the transportation and map. My feeling up to this point is like "wuhoo, i am going to Hong Kong tomorrow.!!"BUT, everything is still under the consideration status. Nothing was confirm aside from the vacation thought!  I know, is easy to say "i wanna go vacation.. i wanna go Hong Kong!!" But when reality comes in, everything change. I am kinda contradict now. Very excited if i really got the chance to go, but at the same time, kinda sad because i can't afford the fees so far. Well, the only thing i can do now is shut the shit up until everything confirm.  EMO.... =[ NIte... 

Old lady in the house

Dear all, it has been a long long time i didn't update any post in this little world. Previously, this is the place where i can share my every single feeling here, and it still work for me now. Went through an incident today, just hope to express my feelings here. 

Feeling of the day : indescribably 

Every single incident start with a person and the person of the day --> dear old pretty lady.

Dear old pretty lady is a strong and harsh women. She had 4 sons and 2 daughters. One of her son passed away last year.The old lady was still strong enough to handle the hard time.  She might/might not spent her half life in fighting and arguing with her family members. Due to her bad temper and jealousy,  she can't live well with every single family members. She still live happily with her sons theoretically, but her sons practically dumped her to one of her daughter to take care her. The old lady just dislike the feeling of living with daughter as she is a very typical Chinese that live with a thought of living with daughter is damn freaking shame thing. Her daughter owned her own family, having 3 children and the youngest kid just graduate from her tertiary study. The old lady got dumped to the house for years. Previously, her sons will bring her home overnight when any festival days. But these two years onward, no one willing to see her even on Chinese New Year. She waits for the arrival of her sons every single moment, the hopeless in her eyes appeared every single day. The old lady felt down and hurt her head two days ago. Aside from that, the old lady also hurt her leg as well. The daughter and the daughter's son worried until can't even have enough rest. And she is now discharge and resting in her daughter's house. 

Old people felt down might be very severe. Wounds might be hard to heal and might be painful for a longer period, but the reaction of the people around the old lady is even more painful and unbelievable.  Out of her kids, only the daughter who taken care her willing to bring her home and only one of her sons willing to pay the operation and medical fees. Can you all imagine that? She is having 6 kids, exclude the one that already leave, only 2 out of 5 willing to do her somethings.The other kids just call and asked on her situation. When get to know that she is OKAY, then no more calls form them. She cant walk and even stand now. The daughter's house has no ground floor room for her to stay and now she need to sleep at the living room.  I seriously cannot take this and really feel very sad and angry when i see this situation. A 80++ years old women need to sleep at the living room when she is physically disable. Those sons and daughter house are damn big and sufficient enough to let her get some rest. Their finance is even far more better than the two .BUT NONE OF THEM WILLING TO DO SO!!!! HEY !!! SHE IS YOUR MOM!!!! WHY YOU ALL CAN DO THIS TO HER?? THE PAST IS THE PAST!!!!!!!!! CANT YOU ALL JUST PUT IT DOWN A WHILE AND GIVE HER A BETTER HEALTH CARE FIRST FOR GOD SAKE????? SHE IS REALLY WEAK !!!!!!! IZZIT REALLY WANT TO WAIT TILL THE DAY THE OLD LADY DIE, YOU ALL ONLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING??????????HEY PLEASE LA!!!!!!!! 

If you all dare to blame on the daughter, then for sure you all will get the karma. If you all want respect, please respect your self first. I can't see any responsibility from you all! My Gosh! 

一些小回顾

很多人说，2011年并不如意，天灾连连，祸害重重。我赞成，可是并不是全部。2011年，的确对很多很多的人来说是很糟糕的一年，我也认同，老天爷一如往常的带走了许许多多的人和物，但牠也恩赐了许许多多的人和物给我们。在这一年的最后一天的最后一刻,我用了数十分钟来回想起这一年所经过的事物，才发现，真的蛮多事的。

我记得，一段感情结束的痛与自私。

我记得，一段友情的决裂与伤感。

我记得，一段与您的最后回忆。

我记得，一段悲痛的离别。

我记得，一段没有结局的奇遇。

我记得，您所经历的难为与不知所托。

我还记得，你的无心伤害。

这一些，都是很不愉快的事情，它们让我哭了好久好久。我不会说老天很不公平，都让我去面对这些负面的事物，因为，老天爷真的很眷恋着我。虽然真的发生很多不愉快的事情，可是牠也恩赐了很多很多很美好的事给我。

另一段感情的开始与缘份，
认定的一辈子好友，
重新接触久违的你与你的笑容，
兄弟姐妹珍贵的联系，
与您一起的浪漫刺激之旅，
回母校实习与接触到的人和物，
家里快要多两位新成员的喜讯，
与你一起的美好经历等等，

这一切的一切都是老天爷的恩赐。我真的很感恩很感恩。谢谢这一切。我会很珍惜！ 这一段小小的回顾，让它来结束我的这一天，这一年。明年的今天，或许我会做同样的事，或许世界已末日，我不知道。当前，我只想活在当下，明天会是什么样的日子我不懂，也没有人懂。但我坚信，老天自有安排，而且，牠一定会公平的对待世人。事实上，很多事情，在于我们如何去看待与面对罢了。

我没有什么伟大的愿望，我只想这天能安稳的结束，明天能平稳的到来。我想看见身边的人都能有能力与毅力去解决问题，我想他们都能乐比愁多，我想你们都能安安乐乐。我想身边的人都能事事顺利。我很自私，我还想我能够安稳快乐的度过我的每一天！2012，愿你能带给每一个人真正的快乐！加油！

This is nice! (=

Heart breaker.

I miss you, i miss you, i miss you and you and you and you and you. I miss everyone of you in the house. But sadly, i don't have the urge to go home. The problem is not with others, but with me. The moment i reach home, i am sure that i can definitely feel the warm from all of you. But, there is always a but. I admit that i am trying to run away from problems. Seeing that you get "bully" by your beloved person, and i actually cant do anything on it making me feel bad. I know i am a psychology students, but i cant apply what i learned to my life. Seeing you suffered for years, and now the situation and people around get worsen making me damn not comfortable. I dislike people twisted the truth and still dare to complain a lot ,critic here and there and act like they are god and good in everything!i dislike those 'innocent/naive' people who actually was the most evil man pretending in everything! i cannot accept those people with genuine heart! i can't apply any empathy understanding on these kind of shit people! for me, seeing you not defending yourself just because of the blood connection towards you and them,make me feel so pain. Because they aren't appreciating what you are doing. Just wonder, when can these piece of crap stop.. is it really need to wait till the old lady give out her last breath only you all satisfy and keep quiet? I do believe in KARMA. And sorry. i took a very selfish move which i just choose to stay away and keep my eye shut so that i don't know everything. But if things doesn't get better and if my superwomen drop her tears once again on this, i guess i cant keep myself silent any more. Pray hard for having strength and intelligent to face this and protect the person i wish to protect. Amitaba.

天秤女!

天秤座...

天秤天性好玩，好奇心重，容易满足（我赞成我很好玩，可是很多次都是满足了自己却得罪了别人）

不管多大，童心一直不会变！（真的有时我还蛮幼稚的！>.<)

天秤渴望理解却不奢求理解 (我的确是这样！）


安于孤独；更能乐于孤独（我可是宅到可以。妈妈时常都要我做jaga!)

总让人觉得很冷，几乎每问一句话就只会应一句 (每当我这样就是我不爽的时候）

别说你懂天秤，他们连自己也不懂自己！（哈哈。。对对！我还真的一时一样）
性格很孩子气，通常都不太独立，（所以我很恋家！！！！）

喜欢依赖让他们感到安心的人，比如亲人，朋友。（只是某人不知道。）
天秤看上去开朗，其实细腻而心重！（而且还小气的要命！）

天秤座总是脸上微笑着、无所谓着、强势着。（为的只是不要身边的人担心）

但是心里却一直流着泪，也不愿意说出口，（所以我不会做无谓的解释！！）

他们需要被保护。（哈哈。。也许这就是我的心声吧～）

天秤座的人善良，但不好欺负！（不好欺负我！我会要你不好过的！）

这就是我！看不顺眼的话就别来烦我！！！ 

心情日记

我好像没有我想像中好。 我好像做什么都不对。 我好像说什么都不合人家的心意。 我好像很自私自利。 我好像不再讨人喜欢。 心情一直没办法好起来。 每时每刻都在想问题出在哪里。想说为什么人家可以这样那样，我却不能。老实说到头来，这样的想法只会把自己逼上一条绝望的路。我好想你真的能谅解我的难处，可是我曾经也让你为难过。我好想你能不要在生气时乱乱骂，可是我又能做些什么。我好想讨你欢心，可是我好像只是在讨你讨厌。 对自己的信心，一天比一天差。 时常告诉自己你说的都是气话，没有正真的含意，可是那种杀伤力却是无比庞大。一些话，仍然历历在目。不敢再让你知道我很介意你的话，因为我知道你不是真的完全是那个意思，我的介意，只会换来你的抗拒。 我只想和你简简单单的。 我只想偶尔听下你对我的赞美，我只想彼此有了对方会更快乐。我，似乎太贪心了。晚安。

My new lappie .

Previous post was a post regarding the lost of my apple baby. And now, i just wanna introduce my new lappie to all. Muahahaha.. Ya.. I bought a new lappie. My previous lappie screen spoiled last month. I know is not a necessary to buy a new laptop as my old one can still be used by attaching it with a external monitor. But it really turned me into trouble whenever i need to use computer outside. After a long discussion with my mum , my brother and my boy, at last, i decided to sell my apple baby and buy a new lappie. it's really a hard decision for me. Till now, i still can't get my self into it. I just too used to my apple baby. haiz... However, my new lappie "VV" did cheer me up a little. Hahaha.. 

VV, was another lappie from DELL. My family is quite a dell supporter. The 3rd laptop from DELL.  Vostro model. It is really nice. Not a very pro laptop for those professional laptop user, but for me, it is really amazing. just love it !!!!!Nothing much to say! Know it when you use it! Damn Amazing.  =]