Thursday, September 20, 2012

。心情记录。


我讨厌没次被诬赖的感觉!
就一句话,“你真的非去不可吗?” 我就被判了死刑。
所有矛头都直向我。然后变成了我是害人精。 
没有人愿意出来帮我辩护,自己替自己说话时也变成了是借口。
然后选择了放弃为自己辩驳。
头脑一直被那些指责徘徊着,开心暂时休息着,心灵暂时悲痛着。
我,选择了不说话,并不意味着我没替自己说过什么。
只是,
我说话,没人愿意听,
听了就把它当成是借口。
有时觉得自己好像和空气说着话。
这一切,都让我好累。 
累得不想再多说一句话。
我记得,曾经何时我告诉过我一位好朋友,
人家要误会就让他吧,我不会多说,让他们自己知道。 
可惜的是,我现在没有了那份潇洒。
我讨厌没有人愿意听我说,
我讨厌连唯一会相信我的人也选择了对方,
我讨厌被孤立,
我讨厌我的愚蠢,
简单来说,
我讨厌我自己!我是害人精!!!!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

EMO.....

.............................................I want a vacation!!!!..............................................

Was chatting with my boy while having our dinner that day and we went into the topic of our next vacation. He told me that he want to go oversea so badly and actually i have the same feeling too and might be even worst than he do. And we had agreed to set Hong Kong as our destination in the coming vacation. The simple conversation raised my urges to the max. and it makes me keep on thinking on it these few days. Eventually, i google a lot of things about Hong Kong. The foods, the places, the air tickets, the hotels even search on the transportation and map. My feeling up to this point is like "wuhoo, i am going to Hong Kong tomorrow.!!"BUT, everything is still under the consideration status. Nothing was confirm aside from the vacation thought!  I know, is easy to say "i wanna go vacation.. i wanna go Hong Kong!!" But when reality comes in, everything change. I am kinda contradict now. Very excited if i really got the chance to go, but at the same time, kinda sad because i can't afford the fees so far. Well, the only thing i can do now is shut the shit up until everything confirm.  EMO.... =[ NIte... 

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Old lady in the house

Dear all, it has been a long long time i didn't update any post in this little world. Previously, this is the place where i can share my every single feeling here, and it still work for me now. Went through an incident today, just hope to express my feelings here. 

Feeling of the day : indescribably 
Every single incident start with a person and the person of the day --> dear old pretty lady.

Dear old pretty lady is a strong and harsh women. She had 4 sons and 2 daughters. One of her son passed away last year.The old lady was still strong enough to handle the hard time.  She might/might not spent her half life in fighting and arguing with her family members. Due to her bad temper and jealousy,  she can't live well with every single family members. She still live happily with her sons theoretically, but her sons practically dumped her to one of her daughter to take care her. The old lady just dislike the feeling of living with daughter as she is a very typical Chinese that live with a thought of living with daughter is damn freaking shame thing. Her daughter owned her own family, having 3 children and the youngest kid just graduate from her tertiary study. The old lady got dumped to the house for years. Previously, her sons will bring her home overnight when any festival days. But these two years onward, no one willing to see her even on Chinese New Year. She waits for the arrival of her sons every single moment, the hopeless in her eyes appeared every single day. The old lady felt down and hurt her head two days ago. Aside from that, the old lady also hurt her leg as well. The daughter and the daughter's son worried until can't even have enough rest. And she is now discharge and resting in her daughter's house. 

Old people felt down might be very severe. Wounds might be hard to heal and might be painful for a longer period, but the reaction of the people around the old lady is even more painful and unbelievable.  Out of her kids, only the daughter who taken care her willing to bring her home and only one of her sons willing to pay the operation and medical fees. Can you all imagine that? She is having 6 kids, exclude the one that already leave, only 2 out of 5 willing to do her somethings.The other kids just call and asked on her situation. When get to know that she is OKAY, then no more calls form them. She cant walk and even stand now. The daughter's house has no ground floor room for her to stay and now she need to sleep at the living room.  I seriously cannot take this and really feel very sad and angry when i see this situation. A 80++ years old women need to sleep at the living room when she is physically disable. Those sons and daughter house are damn big and sufficient enough to let her get some rest. Their finance is even far more better than the two .BUT NONE OF THEM WILLING TO DO SO!!!! HEY !!! SHE IS YOUR MOM!!!! WHY YOU ALL CAN DO THIS TO HER?? THE PAST IS THE PAST!!!!!!!!! CANT YOU ALL JUST PUT IT DOWN A WHILE AND GIVE HER A BETTER HEALTH CARE FIRST FOR GOD SAKE????? SHE IS REALLY WEAK !!!!!!! IZZIT REALLY WANT TO WAIT TILL THE DAY THE OLD LADY DIE, YOU ALL ONLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING??????????HEY PLEASE LA!!!!!!!! 

If you all dare to blame on the daughter, then for sure you all will get the karma. If you all want respect, please respect your self first. I can't see any responsibility from you all! My Gosh!